English words are diverse and vast.
A topmost S/African article writer once said this of English... English is known as a magpie language that picks up words from almost every other language and culture it comes in contact with. And although some languages have understandably widened the English vocabulary more than others, modern English dictionaries contain more of a geographical melting pot than ever before, however there are some that are often used in day to day conversation but then are not grammatically correct, nor can it he found in lexicons...
Below are the examples I can gather;
* Installmentally
This “word” is a favourite of many Nigerians, but, sadly, it simply does not exist. You won’t find it any reputable dictionary. The correct thing to say when “installmentally” comes to your mind is in installments or by installments.
* Plumpy
Nigerians use “plumpy” when they want to say that someone is chubby or slightly fat. The correct expression is plump.
* Disvirgin
This particular “word” is used severally on a daily basis, especially by Nigerian men when they intend saying that a woman has lost her virginity to a guy. The correct word to use, however, is deflower, because “disvirgin” is not a word.
* Cross carpeting
This is a favourite of Nigerian politicians and political analysts alike. They use it when they want to say that a politician has dumped his political party for another party, usually a rival party. The right terms to use when describing this scenario are party switching, defection and crossing the floor and not “cross-carpeting” or “crosscarpeting.”
* Go-Slow
The word go-slow exists, but not in the way Nigerians use it. A “go-slow,” in the peculiarly Nigerian context, is a situation in which road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle queues. However, go-slow in the English language actually means an industrial tactic used by employees whereby they intentionally reduce activity, productivity and efficiency in order to press home some demands. When this happens, you say that work in the office, factory or organization is at a go-slow. The correct terms to use when road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle queues are traffic jam, traffic congestion, gridlock, and (less technically) hold-up, not “go-slow.”
* Cunny
“Cunny” is not found in authoritative dictionaries, but it can be found in some slang dictionaries. Over there, it is a slang used to refer to a woman’s v**ina. The correct term to use is cunning (which is used to describe someone that is being deceitful or crafty) and not “cunny.”
* Opportuned
There is nothing like “opportuned” anywhere in the English language, but that has not stopped its blatant use by all and sundry in Nigeria, including journalists and writers. The correct word is opportune. The word opportune is an adjective; therefore it has no past tense. An adjective has no past tense. However, some verbs can function as adjectives or adverbs in a sentence. These verbs are called participles and they do have past tenses. They are not pure adjectives. Examples of participles are fattened, amused, disgusted, mystified, overwhelmed, upset and bored. Be that as it may, opportune is a pure adjective and not a participle, therefore it has no past tense. Opportune means appropriate or well-timed.
* Alright
“Alright” is a misspelling of the term all right. All right is used when you want to say that something is adequate, acceptable, agreeable or suitable. To hardcore English language linguists, “alright” is not a word. However, its usage is gaining traction and it’s increasingly becoming acceptable. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary – which is considered the gold standard among American English speakers – has recently drawn a lot of criticisms for its permissiveness when it began indexing some otherwise colloquial and street language terms, including “alright.” Most linguists disagree with the gradual acceptance of “alright” as a word by the public and even the media, while those in the minority are “alright” with it.
* Wake-Keeping
“Wake-keeping” exists only in the imagination of a few English speakers. As a matter of fact, there is no such thing as “wake-keeping.” The correct word is wake and not even “wake-keep.” Both “wake-keeping” and “wake-keep” are ungrammatical.
* Screentouch
This bad grammatical expression gained currency in Nigeria and neighbouring West African countries with the influx of made-in-China stylus pen touchscreen not-so-smart phones in the mid 2000s. It was a novelty then; many in Nigeria had not seen it – or even thought such advanced technology was possible – before. So, they looked for a name to call it and “screentouch” came to mind, after all you just touch the screen and it starts working. In case you’ve still not figured it out yet, the correct thing to say is touchscreen and not screen touch.
* Firstly
First things first: Why would anyone still say firstly instead of first? Ordinal numbers such as first, second, and third serve as both adjectives and adverbs, making the adverbs firstly, secondly, and thirdly redundant. Most grammarians agree with Garner’s Modern American Usage: “Firstly is considered inferior to first.” But it is a word that people use, even if the best example given in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary—”Firstly, gather all the ingredients together”—sounds a bit awkward.
* Irregardless
Merriam-Webster says “the most frequently repeated remark about irregardless is that ‘there is no such word.’ There is such a word, however.” It has been used (mistakenly) in place of regardless since the early 1900s and has now been admitted into dictionaries. So even though it is a word, irregardless is still far from being widely accepted. And judging by the scorn it receives online, it won’t be widely accepted anytime soon. Merriam-Webster’s advice: “Use regardless instead.”
* Prolly
Prolly is taking over for probably in text messages, but its origin goes back much earlier: to the 1940s. Considered a “relaxed pronunciation contraction” (like gonna and outta), prolly even shows up in the Oxford English Dictionary. But you should definitely only use prolly informally.
* Literally
How long does it take for a word to be used incorrectly before linguists give up and alter its meaning? It’s happening to literally, which literally means “in a literal way or sense.” So many speakers are using it in place of virtually that the Oxford English Dictionary has redefined literally to say it can be “used for emphasis rather than being actually true, such as, ‘We were literally killing ourselves laughing.'” Meanwhile, English is left with no word reserved to mean “in a literal sense.” Result: Language purists refuse to use literally figuratively.
* Anyways
This word was meant to be an abbreviation of anyway. Today, it’s only used colloquially, as in: “I’ve been blabbing about myself for hours. Anyways, why are you leaving?” The word is considered superfluous: Most dictionaries list it as an informal synonym for anyway. The Oxford English Dictionary goes a step further. It identifies anyways as being of North American origin and gives this snobbish example: “You wouldn’t understand all them long words anyways.”
* Orientate
Like irregardless and anyways, orientate can be used but shouldn’t. The word originated in British English in the 1840s as a variant of orient (both mean “to determine bearings”). Yanks stuck with orient, which is still the preferred usage—orientate is considered nonstandard in most American dictionaries. Even so, many people use it interchangeably with orient (and disorientated for disoriented). A Collins Dictionary entry reads, “We’ve taken so many turns I’m completely disorientated.”
* Impactful
Impactful was invented by advertising agencies in the 1960s to describe their campaigns as “having a big impact.” (These are the same “mad men” who coined lite and signage.) All three words are detested by grammarians; impactful even made it onto Harvard Business Review blogger Bryan A. Garner’s list of “65 Forbidden Buzzwords.” But it’s now in the dictionary, so it’s a word.
There are other words. You can take your time and search them out. Knowledge is power.
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